Good Lord, Titanic took forever to get to the point. For a movie with an ending everybody in the theater already knew about, James Cameron beat around the bush so much we wanted to call the bush an ambulance.

Once that ship starts sinking, though – that’s when the fun begins. For us, that’s when the movie stopped being about two dull people and started being about all the creative ways people can drown.

Take Propeller Man, for instance. After falling from the boat, he made a metallic clang and then spun into the water like he was Sonic the Hedgehog. There’s no way that wasn’t played for laughs.